How to break up in 7 days

--------:DAY ONE:--------

Dearest John,

I went to the door today and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. I couldn't have been more surprised.

With deepest love and affection,

Victoria

--------:DAY TWO:--------

Dearest John,

Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Two turtle doves!! I'm delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just too adorable.

My everlasting love,

Victoria

--------:DAY THREE:--------

Dear John,

Today the postman delivered three calling birds. Now really they are beautiful. But don't you think enough is enough? You are just being too romantic.

Love,Victoria

--------:DAY FOUR:--------

John,

Today the postman knocked and ran. When I opened the door there were actually four geese-a-laying on my front steps.

Those geese are huge! Where in the name of creation will I keep them? 

Now let this be the end of this.

Cordially,Victoria

--------:DAY FIVE:--------

John,

Today I receive your FIVE swans-a-swimming. There's bird shit all over the house.

Stop with this nonsense. This is not funny and I am very unhappy.

Sincerely,Victoria

--------:DAY SIX:--------

OK Pal ! !

What the hell am I going to do with six cows? There is cow shit all over my lawn and bird shit all over the house.

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.

--------:DAY SEVEN:--------

LISTEN SHITHEAD ! !

Now I have seven pipers piping in my front yard and they are standing knee deep in cow shit. The neighbors have started a petition to evict me.
The commissioner of zoning and the building inspector have subpoenaed me to give just cause why my home shouldn't be condemned.

I'M CALLING THE POLICE ! !

UP YOURS ! ! !

courtesy: cartoonheart